Pain and fear

Just had some awful news. A friend of mine had a son recently and he developed some problems after birth and had to be hospitalized, where he died after two days. This must have been the hardest thing I have ever done..... I gave her a call and spoke with her briefly.

What do you say to a new mother who loses her child?

Just the thought of it was enough to shred all coherence from me, and we spent some torturous minutes of uncomprehending grief.

As a new mother myself, I have no fear greater than this, and I can only imagine how a mother who should have been celebrating instead is dealing with engorged breasts and no one to feed. All the hopes, dreams, love..... shattered.

I don't know what to say, I don't even know what to wish for.... Not my child. Mine is waving his hands and cooing as I swipe at tears, in a complete role reversal. For once, he doesn't know why I'm crying and what to do about it. I'm grateful that I'm crying over a loss I will not be living with.