Two month old using sign language

Okay, Nisarg is definitely using sign language. I'd thought so earlier.

Since then, he's signed "milk" a couple of times more. I'd been trying to get a video, but he does it rather absently, and when I approach with my phone in hand, he starts interacting with me, waving and sucking his fist. Finally, I was able to capture the tail end of it as he got hungry when my mother-in-law was holding him..... Its not very clear, he does it just once, but check out his right hand. He was doing it with both when I came close and stopped :(

Things got ugly real fast after I shot this. We had a crying session. I guess he didn't appreciate me just sitting there watching him when I could feed him.

He does it quite well. Maybe I'll get a better video in a day or two.

Two month old signing milk?

Okay, its likely that I'm over reacting, but twice (for sure, and once unsure) since yesterday evening, we've seen Nisarg opening and closing his fist deliberately - the sign for milk. Both times I responded by offering to feed him, and he was hungry and fed well.

I show him the baby signing time video often because its bright and has music and stuff. He enjoys the music, and watches on and off. I had never thought he was paying attention. Perhaps he isn't. I also do the sign for milk while I'm feeding him. That is something he definitely notices, as he is always looking intently at me as he feeds. I think he has realized that the sign for milk is accompanied by or followed by a feed.

Now, the question is if this is a coincidence or deliberate?

Everything I've read about baby sign language indicates that babies don't start signing till they are 6 months old, as they don't have that kind of coordination till then. On the other hand, Nisarg is definitely opening and closing his hands when he is hungry. It is not a very proper opening and closing - more like an uncurling of his fingers and curling back - neither does he make a proper fist, nor does he make his fingers completely straight.

It is quite likely that I'm imagining things.

On the other hand, a friend who runs a developmental toys library made an insightful comment when I told her about Nisarg letting me know when he wants to pee. She said, "They are telling us a great many things all through. It is about how observant and intuitive we are." She thought it was a sign of my sensitivity and attention that I picked up his cues and we had a day without wetting a single diaper.

So I like to think that Nisarg is making the sign for milk. Whether he is actually trying to tell me, or simply hungry and remembers that sign as associated with feeding, I don't know. He does it quite absently, like he is when he is talking to himself. As opposed to when he coos to us. So I think maybe he remembers the sign when he is hungry, without actually signing for us as such.

I'll try to shoot a video and post it here, and you guys can tell me what you think.

Update: I tried this time when he did it, and he got distracted and started interacting with me.... So no go. Will try again when he does it.

Brillkids - does it work?

Recently, a friend asked me about my fascination with the Brillkids softwares. Does it actually work? They ARE very expensive!

The way I look at this is that the Brillkids softwares - both Little Reader and Little Math are tools. How effective they are depends on how well you use them. A committed parent could get more results out of chart paper and marker pens than one who gives up with the Brillkids Little Learner (as they are collectively called).

That said, they are infinitely better than that chart paper and much more convenient than flashcard sets. I'm trying to use flash cards with Nisarg and discovering that it is definitely a skill that takes serious honing. Take for example teaching him about family. What I'm doing is with many members of the family, but for the purposes of this example, lets take just Raka, me and Nisarg.

This resulted in 6 two sided picture and word flash cards. Mother, father and Nisarg in two languages and photos on the other side. Now, this still leaves space for Vidyut, Raka and baby, but that's more cards. Close relatives I'd like him to learn are at least grandparents, uncle and aunts. Its a logistical nightmare to have physical cards, not to mention learning to flash them at a speed fast enough to lead to effective right brain learning.

That takes me to power point slideshows. At least Mistakes can be corrected painlessly. More than that, I can copy paste stuff to create the slide shows. With the addition of the Open Cards extension, I can flash them quite well too. Much better. There are several slideshows I can download, and creating new ones is easy enough. I can add sound files, so that anyone can show Nisarg his cards without worrying about what to say, when to flip and so on.

The next stage in this journey is the Little Reader. I can add several audio files for a word, several images. So that each time it says Mother, it can speak in a different voice - Raka's, my mother-in-law's, mine... and show different photos of me. Entertaining and holds his interest and can be set up really fast for the variety it outputs. Not to mention that I don't need to create a thing to teach him body parts (for example). The community shares files. I can benefit from someone else's efforts as others can benefit frommine. 10 people can teach kids 10 things for the effort of one. Plus I can add videos, create playlists and there are even lesson plans that I can simply play directly, when I don't have the time to invest in planning all that.

I have ended up discovering stuff on some subject by downloading a file for Nisarg.

I am a busy person. This kind of quality and ease of use makes it far more interesting and sustainable in the long term for me.

As for Little Math.... Beats flashcards a million times over. You have to have used the physical number cards to know how awkward they are to handle, let alone "flash", major learning curve and not particularly exciting for me. Creating cards or powerpoints with quantities to 100..... forget it.

Powerpoint is still good if you can lay your hands on some of the ready files for 100 numbers. Of course Open Cards flashes them for you. If you want to show random cards..... Numbers and dots mixed.... or anything different, you first gotta hunt a file for it, unless you have the patience to create it yourself. In which case, Pleeeease send me a copy?

And Little Math? Hold on to your seat. Show dots, images, customize to use pink panthers and blue trucks, or whatever your child enjoys watching in the place of dots. Show in sequence, randomize, with audio, placed random or in grids, ..... and I haven't even started talking about equations and fractions and stuff.

So? Does it work? Works for me!

Communication Development at 7 weeks old?

I find myself communicating with Nisarg very easily. He is just 7 weeks old. If I have to look back and see what helped me the most, the single biggest thing was observation. Endless observation. Listening. Endless listening.

I found myself constantly putting myself in his shoes and trying to understand the context of his expressions and sounds. He is less than two months old, but I can confidently tell when he is hungry, tired, in pain, excited, scared, etc. Its less easy for him to understand me, but its clear that he understands a couple of things. The first is the most important - he can count on me. The second is more "provable". He mimics me. He gets it clearly when I make a face and want him to imitate it. He will often attempt after I say "you try it" or similar.

He astounded his massage woman by consistently sticking his tongue out to say "bye" as she left, since she swaddled him and he can't wave (not that he can if not swaddled). First couple of days, she and the mother in law thought it was coincidence - "babies stick their tongues out all the time". Sure. But what if they stick it out after you have stuck yours out when they had their mouths firmly closed? We did it and showed, and we still show our tongue on demand. Will post a video.

So far, he will make an "o" with his lips, stick his tongue out, open his mouth wide (convenient for medicines), and tries but can't wiggle his brows (he frowns).

On a more useful, but less fun vein, he will cry loudly in a certain way when he wants to pee, hold eye contact and make restless movements with his head to burp, and many other actions that I could write down and anyone can confirm. My husband called me when I'd gone to the shop saying that he was crying and wouldn't stop - kicking out, arching, pulling up his knees.... was he hungry? What to do? Its a sign of his belief in my understanding Nisarg that he asked when I couldn't really see or hear him. Just the description was enough. Poor baby had gas stuck. Told Raka to put him down, raise his legs and if that didn't work, pick him, keep changing positions (from one hand to another, on lap, etc) but always horizontal and with legs in the fetal position.

Raka says the baby was relieved almost immediately. Another instance was when I was cooking and heard Nisarg cry. I yelled for Raka to get him to the wash basin for a pee immediately, and that was that.

And I have plans. Plans to help him share more of his world with me. I'm hoping to establish basic yes/no signals. No is easy, crying or frowning, but the yes can be tricky. He needs to realize that he can approve of something and I will pay attention. Well... maybe in a week or two....

Communication makes life much easier for both mother and child. And its not rocket science. All it takes is patience, experimentation and observation. So here is what you can do the next time your baby is telling you something you can't understand:

• Make a guess. You'd be surprised at how much you have noticed without noticing yourself noticing (couldn't resist)
• Respond based on that guess.
• Observe your baby. What was the impact of your response? Did the original behaviour change? Become more specific? End? What happened?
• More than the first behaviour and the new one, its the change and when it happened that's the key.

For example, baby may be staring at your face. You respond by turning so that more light falls on your face. Baby may wave his hand in your direction - so your guess that he was "exploring your face" was correct. I sometimes even praise Nisarg for telling me so clearly when something really "clicks" because of this team work. Or, baby may whimper - okay, wrong guess - what could it be? Could he want something? You could ask him that and it becomes a response. Maybe he wanted attention and talk and he will quiet. Maybe he is hungry and will start crying louder when he sees you doing things, but not what he wants....

Soon, you get really quick with this.

This is the failsafe method for communication development with your baby. Even a couple of hours have the power to transform your relationship, and you don't have to do anything drastically different from what you do.

Hearing Progress?

I've completed my 29th week of pregnancy now. Each passing week makes me feel like I've achieved something major for the baby, though the fact is, I'm doing nothing new.

I am noticing some patterns in the baby's responses.

• When I first started feeling the movements, they were pretty much random, and I could feel them only when I was absolutely quiet - mostly lying down to sleep.
• Then, they slowly became more frequent, and I could feel them more clearly unless I was physically active.
• Then I noticed that they happened when I played certain kinds of music.
• Then I noticed that they started happening when Raka (my husband) stopped speaking or left the room.
• Around the last week or so, we noticed that loud sounds resulted in kicks, particularly sounds like a cheering audience, etc.
• Last night, we realized that there are also responses to changes in tone. For example, kicks can quieten down with my voice or Raka's or when I hear some humorous narrations at night (every night) as I sleep and just as the narration is concluding, the baby starts kicking. Don't know what it understands, but the timing is exactly as P L Deshpande starts wrapping up the session and his tone changes, while it is still with very few and soft movements while its on. Sometimes I think this kid is going to be born thinking of P L Deshpande's voice as that of a family member. :D

Am I noticing some development in my little one's ability to hear, or am I just "wishful thinking" myself into seeing these things?

On a positive side, the medicines the doctor gave me (vitamins) seem to be helping. My stomach discomfort is slightly less. I haven't really made any changes in my diet of nightly feet elevation, but I'd used dukh-daba-vlep (which is kind of like an ayurvedic painkilling/swelling reducing plaster) some 3 days ago. Don't know if its the vitamins or the plaster, but this morning my foot looked almost completely normal. No swelling, just a vague, look of having been swollen earlier. So I am quite relieved.

BTW, while I didn't do it this time, I had earlier noticed that eating bananas helps get swelling down. Something to do with the potassium in them helping the sodium get balanced or something. So, if you're struggling with swelling, it may be worthwhile to give eating bananas before sleeping (or even at other times) a shot.

Normal Anxiety or Pregnancy Paranoia

Okay, I've completed the first trimester, 13 weeks and am well into my 14th week. This is the most pregnant I've ever been, all is fabulous on the health front. Then, like Maria from The sound of Music, "Why am I so scared?"

Now that I've crossed the high risk of miscarriage period, I find other things to worry about - the still existing slight risk of miscarriage, scary write ups online that say smokers and older women (I'm 32) have a greater risk of premature birth.... oh what if I can't carry this little one till it can be healthy and safe?

I've been reading about the struggles preemies and their families face. While I deeply respect their courage and commitment, that is one thing I certainly don't want my little one to go through.

Yet, its like a road accident. I can't but be horrified and sad for the poor families struggling with such a difficult time, and I can't stop reading on. A part of me is cheering them on, celebrating their successes with them, enjoying their little victories, but I can't pretend that another part of me is not living in fear that something like this could happen to my precious one.

I spoke about these concerns with the family doctor I'm currently using, and she wasn't concerned. She told me not to worry about it and to trust that all will be well. That does exactly nothing to my fearful "what ifs".

I tried to find out what the scene is with facilities and support in India for such emergencies. The doctor says there's plenty of excellent facilities and support. I don't know what and where they are. I have yet to read of a single story from India that can tell me what a couple goes through in such circumstances in this country. What are the kind of premature support facilities available in India? NICU I believe they are called.

All in all, I'm worrying about things that may never happen in great detail.

Other times, I just read the stories and relate with the people, and don't feel a single twitch for my own baby - its healthy and happy, and all will be good.

Is this anxiety a normal "mood swing" or am I really being paranoid?