Atarax drops - things I didn't know

Okay, the baby had had a bad night two days ago, and the pediatrician prescribed atarax drops - 10 drops morning and night. She asked me to call back in a day.

I'd given him the drops and he slept most of the day away. I assumed it was from being so utterly exhausted. He hadn't had another crying spell. When I called the doctor after 24 hours as told, she asked about how he was responding and I told her that, and she asked me to reduce his dose to 8 drops both times and call back in another 24 hours.

He's doing fine.

Then, with my obsession with whatever the baby ingests, I searched online for information about Atarax drops and I found the following:

• They contain Hydroxyzine Hydrochloride.
• They are indicated for nervous stress, anxiety and neurovegetative disorders in cardiovascular affections (hy­pertension, arteriosclerosis, arrhythmia, stenocardia, nervous and circulatory asthenia), respiratory af­fections (nervous cough, chronic bronchitis, bronchospasmsl, gastrointestinal disorders (nausea and vo­miting, gastric hypermotility and hypersecretion, gastric and duodenal ulcers, chronic colitis), and in pe­diatrics (tics, enuresis)....
• Sleepiness is a common side effect!
• It is possible to alergic to these - I HAD been thinking that Nisarg's face looks a little swollen, but thought it was because of the crying....

In short, its a heavy duty medicine, particularly for such a small baby, and while it helps, it would have been good if the doctor could have explained how important it was not to give more than needed (I can imagine myself giving him "a little bit more" if faced with a screaming infant in the middle of the night - not that I do this easily with him, but that it feels remarkably powerless to see him hurt - luckily the situation didn't arise). I think it also was crucial that we be told that we could expect him to sleep a bit more from the medicine and to watch out for possible allergic reactions.

It sounded like a regular medicine for babies, the way she gave it. Or maybe it is? I don't know.

Anyway, it doesn't seem to make him drowsy when it counts, and he had a fussy spell for two hours after taking the medicine before he would settle to sleep. Though luckily, it was more a needy state of being rather than outright wails. And then we slept like a pair of logs till morning.

Two month old using sign language

Okay, Nisarg is definitely using sign language. I'd thought so earlier.

Since then, he's signed "milk" a couple of times more. I'd been trying to get a video, but he does it rather absently, and when I approach with my phone in hand, he starts interacting with me, waving and sucking his fist. Finally, I was able to capture the tail end of it as he got hungry when my mother-in-law was holding him..... Its not very clear, he does it just once, but check out his right hand. He was doing it with both when I came close and stopped :(

Things got ugly real fast after I shot this. We had a crying session. I guess he didn't appreciate me just sitting there watching him when I could feed him.

He does it quite well. Maybe I'll get a better video in a day or two.

Two month old signing milk?

Okay, its likely that I'm over reacting, but twice (for sure, and once unsure) since yesterday evening, we've seen Nisarg opening and closing his fist deliberately - the sign for milk. Both times I responded by offering to feed him, and he was hungry and fed well.

I show him the baby signing time video often because its bright and has music and stuff. He enjoys the music, and watches on and off. I had never thought he was paying attention. Perhaps he isn't. I also do the sign for milk while I'm feeding him. That is something he definitely notices, as he is always looking intently at me as he feeds. I think he has realized that the sign for milk is accompanied by or followed by a feed.

Now, the question is if this is a coincidence or deliberate?

Everything I've read about baby sign language indicates that babies don't start signing till they are 6 months old, as they don't have that kind of coordination till then. On the other hand, Nisarg is definitely opening and closing his hands when he is hungry. It is not a very proper opening and closing - more like an uncurling of his fingers and curling back - neither does he make a proper fist, nor does he make his fingers completely straight.

It is quite likely that I'm imagining things.

On the other hand, a friend who runs a developmental toys library made an insightful comment when I told her about Nisarg letting me know when he wants to pee. She said, "They are telling us a great many things all through. It is about how observant and intuitive we are." She thought it was a sign of my sensitivity and attention that I picked up his cues and we had a day without wetting a single diaper.

So I like to think that Nisarg is making the sign for milk. Whether he is actually trying to tell me, or simply hungry and remembers that sign as associated with feeding, I don't know. He does it quite absently, like he is when he is talking to himself. As opposed to when he coos to us. So I think maybe he remembers the sign when he is hungry, without actually signing for us as such.

I'll try to shoot a video and post it here, and you guys can tell me what you think.

Update: I tried this time when he did it, and he got distracted and started interacting with me.... So no go. Will try again when he does it.

Caring for gassy infant - How to treat gas in infant

Here's some tips on caring for gassy infants born from my trial by fire:

1. At the FIRST sign of gas - crying, squirming, passing very little gas after a lot of action... use neopeptine. I'd say, when in doubt, use neopeptine too.
2. Comfort baby. Cuddle in fetal position. This brings legs closer to stomach and naturally helps pass gas, while making the baby feel secure.
3. Feed baby. Babies tend to have bowel movements (or attempts) when feeding. The feeding comforts as well as helps them move the gas along.
4. Put some massage oil (coconut oil should be fine) on your hands and rub the tummy gently. G-e-n-t-l-y. You are not trying to squeeze the gas out. Just soothe and encourage movement.
5. Move the baby a lot. The squirming that is tiring your baby out is basically the baby moving to help pass gas. You can be a huge help to baby here. Rock, swing, exercise legs in bicycling motions, hold legs up like for a diaper change..... keep changing positions. The baby will not settle till the gas passes, so a position change is only temporary relief. Don't let the infant get all worked up when it loses its effectiveness, move to a different position.
6. Of course, when a position soothes baby, hold it for longer, or move to something else quickly.
7. The end of the baby that gas is expected to exit has to be higher. Gas rises, remember? So, if your baby is moving his head restlessly, rocking back and forth, etc, hold him vertical, pat back, encourage burp. If he is squirming the whole body, drawing up legs and kicking them out, etc. Put horizontal and raise legs, cuddle in cradle hold, lightly rub small circles on lower back, etc.

These are things to do while your baby is suffering. If you are breastfeeding your infant, it might help to look into fore-milk hind-milk imbalance or lactose overload (NOT lactose intolerance), which I have written about earlier.

Brillkids - does it work?

Recently, a friend asked me about my fascination with the Brillkids softwares. Does it actually work? They ARE very expensive!

The way I look at this is that the Brillkids softwares - both Little Reader and Little Math are tools. How effective they are depends on how well you use them. A committed parent could get more results out of chart paper and marker pens than one who gives up with the Brillkids Little Learner (as they are collectively called).

That said, they are infinitely better than that chart paper and much more convenient than flashcard sets. I'm trying to use flash cards with Nisarg and discovering that it is definitely a skill that takes serious honing. Take for example teaching him about family. What I'm doing is with many members of the family, but for the purposes of this example, lets take just Raka, me and Nisarg.

This resulted in 6 two sided picture and word flash cards. Mother, father and Nisarg in two languages and photos on the other side. Now, this still leaves space for Vidyut, Raka and baby, but that's more cards. Close relatives I'd like him to learn are at least grandparents, uncle and aunts. Its a logistical nightmare to have physical cards, not to mention learning to flash them at a speed fast enough to lead to effective right brain learning.

That takes me to power point slideshows. At least Mistakes can be corrected painlessly. More than that, I can copy paste stuff to create the slide shows. With the addition of the Open Cards extension, I can flash them quite well too. Much better. There are several slideshows I can download, and creating new ones is easy enough. I can add sound files, so that anyone can show Nisarg his cards without worrying about what to say, when to flip and so on.

The next stage in this journey is the Little Reader. I can add several audio files for a word, several images. So that each time it says Mother, it can speak in a different voice - Raka's, my mother-in-law's, mine... and show different photos of me. Entertaining and holds his interest and can be set up really fast for the variety it outputs. Not to mention that I don't need to create a thing to teach him body parts (for example). The community shares files. I can benefit from someone else's efforts as others can benefit frommine. 10 people can teach kids 10 things for the effort of one. Plus I can add videos, create playlists and there are even lesson plans that I can simply play directly, when I don't have the time to invest in planning all that.

I have ended up discovering stuff on some subject by downloading a file for Nisarg.

I am a busy person. This kind of quality and ease of use makes it far more interesting and sustainable in the long term for me.

As for Little Math.... Beats flashcards a million times over. You have to have used the physical number cards to know how awkward they are to handle, let alone "flash", major learning curve and not particularly exciting for me. Creating cards or powerpoints with quantities to 100..... forget it.

Powerpoint is still good if you can lay your hands on some of the ready files for 100 numbers. Of course Open Cards flashes them for you. If you want to show random cards..... Numbers and dots mixed.... or anything different, you first gotta hunt a file for it, unless you have the patience to create it yourself. In which case, Pleeeease send me a copy?

And Little Math? Hold on to your seat. Show dots, images, customize to use pink panthers and blue trucks, or whatever your child enjoys watching in the place of dots. Show in sequence, randomize, with audio, placed random or in grids, ..... and I haven't even started talking about equations and fractions and stuff.

So? Does it work? Works for me!

Infant ear pain

Another nightmare night.

Nisarg started fussing around bedtime and crying on and off. By 1am, he was crying full blown out. Screaming wails, hiccups, gasps, chokes, scary breathless sounds, constant screaming interspersed with exhausted and restless dozes he came out of within a couple of minutes.

I was scared. I woke up Raka around 4am feeling really scared, and the two of us spent another hour of the night feeling helpless, soothing, begging, bribing, whatever, but no go. By 5am, he was so tuckered out that he slept fitfully, sobbing at times in his sleep and waking up screaming if we put him down. So I held him, staring at that dear face with the swollen eyes, listening anguished to those slight sobs and gasps that continued as he slept.

Since he also was farting, I assumed it was a really bad case of gas.

By 6am, he was gone enough that he didn't stir when I put him down, and I had a nap myself.

He woke up around 8am hungry, and slept through his feed and I put him back down. It was when he woke up screaming again at 11am that we got really scared and went to the doctor. The doctor thinks it might be his ear hurting him, since moving his head makes him cry more. She gave us something for it - Atarax drops. We are supposed to give 10 drops half an hour after Neopeptine for today, and without the Neopeptin for two more days. I guess we are covering our bases whether its ear pain or gas.

I think its gas because he passes wind when he cries and calms for a bit.... but then, is the wind passing from his straining when he cries, or is he crying because of it? Who knows? Its a chicken or egg thing.

Its such a horrible, horrible thing to see him in pain and not even be sure of what's causing it.

He was crying again in the afternoon for a bit and then I think the medicine took hold. He's sleeping as I write this. Totally deep sleep. This is crazy and not at all how I imagined being a mom to be. I'm willing to slay dragons and sacrifice whatever it takes for this guy, but hey, where is the dragon and what exactly is needed? No one told me it was such a tormenting guessing game!

Baby massage - Research and Tradition

If you live in India and also learn about best practices from the net/books/doctor, its likely that you have the most conflicting opinions when it comes to baby massage and its tough to find out what to do.

This is a list of my conflicts and current decisions:

1. Smoke, kajal, powder, etc: Doctors say that the old practice of "dhuri" for the baby is not a good idea. In fact, lady from the free breastfeeding lectures by Breastfeeding Promotion Network of India goes ahead and says bluntly, "Its the woman who has given birth, not the baby. If you have such a strong belief that the warmth of the smoke creats strength, do what you want with the mother, but get the baby out of the room and away from the smoke." Kajal carries risk of infection, may have traces of lead and can block the tiny tear ducts. Powder can get into a baby's lungs and as such must not be used anywhere other than the diaper area if you must. No brainer there. I follow these guidelines and let the old women mutter about "today's people". That goes for oil in the ear, nose or any orifice.
2. Straightening legs: Its common practice in India to stretch the baby's legs out to strengthen them. Fact is that the baby will "unfurl" in three months or so anyway. The fetal position is not something they can switch off at birth, and it brings them security, conserves energy and is actually quite a good thing. I tell the massage woman not to use force, and if the baby cries, then that is the end of whatever she is doing, and she must move to the next thing. It goes against her every idea of doing the best she can for the baby, so I really have to watch like a hawk on this and bluntly tell her that it is enough of something if the baby complains. And mostly he doesn't.
3. Oil on the scalp: The fontanelle needs to be oiled to be closed is a common belief. Actually, like a cold lasts for a week or seven days depending on if you take medicine, the fontanelle will close approximately in two years or twenty four months depending on whether you oil it or not :D Pressure on the soft part is a bad thing. However, soft touch on the scalp is soothing, so I go by whether the baby seems to like it that day or not.
4. Exercise: The massage woman gently moves the baby's limbs to exercise him. This is great and Nisarg loves it most days. When he doesn't we don't do it, because if he is jerking in resistance, I imagine it will do more harm than good.
5. Swaddling: A typical baby massage and bath will be followed by swaddling as sure as the sky is blue. The baby seems to enjoy it and sleeps soundly, so its great. However, this swaddling is typically done very tight, which can cause hip dysplasia in the baby. What I do is ensure that the baby is open and free most of the time, and loosen the swaddling when the woman goes.
6. Hair removal: The massage woman has talked herself hoarse in one ear with the mother in law in the other - the baby hair on his forehead must be removed, or he will turn into an ugly, hairy grown up. Needless to say, they talk, I listen, and do nothing in that direction. If hair removal were such a great idea, we'd encourage our four year old daughters to get their eyebrows trimmed. Hair removed will grow again, and any changes in appearance are cosmetic till the hair falls out on its own. If it were a permanent solution, there would be no need for permanent hair removal ads for grown ups. We'd all DIY at home.
7. Oil for baby massage: Okay, this is a big one. Doctors tell you to go with coconut oil. The massage woman will recommend edible oils but use whatever you provide. Fancy friends will insist that olive oil is the thing (a status thing, since olive oil is a "good", exotic and expensive oil and no "commoners" in India have even heard of olives). Others would recommend Johnsons baby oil. Here's what I found. Doctors and tradition solidly of the same opinion, and backed by my experience of the baby. Coconut oil wins hands down. Excellent for the skin, inexpensive, no undesirable reactions on the skin.... Olive oil caused rashes on Nisarg - for whatever reason. Johnson's baby oil is a liquid paraffin based oil. NOT a good idea for massage, though I guess its fine for applying on the skin to keep it from drying. There have been many instances of skin rashes from this oil among people I know, online and people the massage woman knows. I have yet to hear of anyone regretting using coconut oil on a child. I have heard that almond oil is good too. A pediatrician friend said, "Don't create such a production out of it. Use your mother-in-law's coconut oil, almond oil, or cooking oil from the kitchen. If something creates a rash, discontinue it."

So, what are your experiences with advice based on research, tradition and social opinions? How do you manage? What choices do you make?

Tips to help baby crawl

Okay, so your baby is still not crawling. Maybe he's 5 months old, or just born..... we are all eager to see them crawl.

Okay, the first thing to realize is that a newborn put on the mother's stomach will crawl up to suckle (often, if not mostly). So crawling is not that big a difficulty. However, if you are talking about crawling to actually get somewhere significant.... you're going to soon wish he was getting into less things, but hey, here are some tips anyway.

1. Put baby on stomach when awake. Really, there is no such thing as too much. Reassure, comfort, pick up, whatever, but if you're putting the baby down awake, its the stomach that must be down. Really, a baby on the back is rather like a turtle on its shell. How will any crawling happen? Its definitely a learning by doing thing, and doing needs opportunity.
2. Be excited about it: Be thrilled by the fact that baby is on the stomach. Praise, laugh, get all thrilled, and chances are that baby will think its a good thing after all. A great tool if the baby is still undecided about how this stomach thing is.
3. Join your baby. On the floor. Yep. Go ahead, crawl yourself, and he may get some ideas.
4. Use toys and stuff. Your baby may not even seem to notice them, but they have. Babies are smart and quite curious about stuff. He may not seem to show interest initially, but leave him quiet for a bit, and he'll get all curious about the toy and want to get it. This needs crawling of course.
5. Acknowledge efforts. Really, praise everything, even if baby has feet in the air. If he feels good about trying rather than feeling burdned by expectations he doesn't understand, chances are that he's going to want to spend time investigating this new experience.
6. Interpret - interpret everything as success.. If baby waves hands and feet, he's going to end up moving in some direction or the other - fabulous. Cheer!

Use firm surfaces. A soft fluffy something is only going to bunch and absorb all baby's efforts and discourage him.

Leave arms and feet (particularly) bare and cover torso. This will give more grip to the parts that will push, and more slipperiness to the parts that will slide and make movement easier. Basically, what we are doing is simply creating an opportunity for the baby to discover that moving his limbs on the floor ends up moving his body. Once he gets that, start reorganizing your home to get rid of all baby-non-proof things at floor level.....

Mother development

I used to think of myself as a pretty self aware person. And sure, to a great extent, I am. But then, the self is like an onion the more layers you peel off, the tastier the core remains.

Nisarg is throwing me into a new learning curve as a person. It is impossible to have masks with infants. They operate on such a primitive level, that they simply don't comprehend the masks. I may talk of patience and being there for him at 4am in the morning, but he knows what I will never verbalize - sleep, damnit!

Needless to say, it doesn't work. Then, as my impatience shows through, he gets agitated. Eventually, exhausted, I'm beyond impatience, and what he sees is what he gets. A limp, sleepy mom. And suddenly sleep sounds like a good idea to him too.

Approaching the same situaiton in another way, I could say that my moods transfer to him. If I'm tense, I will never be able to get him to relax. If I'm waiting for him to sleep, he's waiting right along with me.....

I may talk baby talk with him, but when I enjoy myself, I get gummy grins. When I'm just talking to "make him quiet" I get hurt and puzzled looks as he shreds my heart by looking into my eyes when he cries.

Many inexplicable situations later, I'm slowly starting to question the honesty of my behaviour. Sure. I'm honest to some extent. But what is the real issue? What are my feelings for my son that I disown because they are not "appropriate"?

This reminds me of some comments I got on my poem "What you see is what you get" on facebook and in my emails. The essence is:

A child gives birth to a mother.

The teacher comes as the humble student.

I think it is important that I remember that juust because I happened to be born earlier doesn't mean that I know it all. Just because he is dependent on me doesn't mean that the vast learnings he brings me are to be less respected than the most insightful guru around. Just because he isn't a famous guru doesn't mean that he is any less effective in transforming my life.

Its incredible how when I strip off all the facades, resign myself to the demise of all pretences and embrace the joy of simply being; how much joy I am able to spread. How much caring I am able to convey. How much support I am able to contribute.... How much MORE I am, just because a pint size teacher chose to be naked and embrace life with open arms.

Baby Signing Time

Okay, so I'm on a roll with educational resources for babies. Another absolutely awesome resource dropped into my lap last week. A friend with a grown up baby gave me the first episode of - Its Baby Signing Time!

The idea being that babies develop an awareness about their needs and desires long before they are able to express them. Thus, babies often cry out of frustration, because they are unable to get their needs met.

Teaching them the baby (read very basic) version of sign language empowers them to communicate more fluently with you, thus removing much of the stress of guesswork for both of you.

There is an additional bonus - research shows that children who gesture a lot learn to speak early and develop better mental abilities.

There are supposed to be four episodes, though I've seen only one. What we saw, we liked. Nisarg was entranced with the lively music and bright colours. I was entranced with how clearly and charmingly the whole thing has been created. Its literally lessons on sign language woven with music, words, and plenty of practice time. I had never imagined that learning could look so much like a fun video. Nisarg doesn't understand anything at all, but approves anyway, if his stare and waving limbs are to go by.

He's still young, but in a month or so, I guess we'll have all the episodes.

Really, sign language is not just for deaf and dumb children, but for all children who are not able to speak - babies qualify.

The torment of (in)decision

How does one go on fighting against all odds? How does one keep struggling to keep a family afloat, when no one else seems to care? How can a man look at his own flesh and blood child and keep coming home drunk? Where does a woman draw the line between giving up too easily and walking away while she can?

What does a mother answer a child curious about a father distanced because of her decisions? What does a mother answer a father about their child she's taking away?

The world is a cruel place. There are many who would like to listen to your woes and gleefully prescribe how things should be. And no "solution" fits the problem.

I'm going through a bad, bad time. Pressured on every front there is - relationships, money, responsibility, scarcity..... Naturally, since its me, it follows that the one place where me having a problem would have an easy answer has no problem. The joy of my life is Nisarg. I feel just peachy to be a mom. Other problems that were already huge before this little guy came are now overwhelming.

There are no easy answers. No one to support me if I walk away from my family, and no one to support the family financially if I walk away. The sorrow is that the only thing to crash in my absence would be the finances. Shows how used I allowed myself to be.

Now, I have a little one to think of. Safety, relationships, life.... I have made the choices that bring me here. He hasn't. How do I go on so that he doesn't suffer for mine?

My little sunflower

Just warms my heart to see,

This tiny piece of me

Full of smiles and coos

He has nothing to loose

As he follows me around with his eyes

When out of sight, he calls with cries

For he is my little sunflower,

And I'm his mother

Brillkids to speed up your baby's learning

Research increasingly shows that the more information you make accessible to your baby, the faster he or she begins using it. This is particularly true when it comes to language and maths.

Babies this age are more "right brained" - they need to be, if they have to learn to understand people, interaction and express themselves. At this age, perception rules. They are constantly absorbing things they are exposed to, and this particularly holds true for language and mathematics. They can understand entire words or quantities as images, and comprehend them enough that a quantity expressed in different ways, or a word written in different fonts/handwriting is quickly identified as the same quantity or word.

All this is happening even before they learn to speak.

Our current ways of teaching children begin well after the child learns to speak. Children learn to read in school, by when they have already moved beyond the formative years when they can grasp these things intuitively and effortlessly.

As more and more parents discover the value of early orientation to fundamental skills, methods which enable such learning to be fun are becoming popular. Flashcards, story books, sign language, DVDs and such resources add value and maximise ease of use. This also directly results in you being able to be consistent and persistent with your efforts.

Two such programs are from Brillkids - Little Reader and Little Math. They literally take out all the guesswork and tedious labour needed to constantly create learning resources and present them correctly. They have trials for download on their site, and I must say I'm hooked!

The only sorrow is that they don't work on Linux, which is what my machine is, though I have a little used dual boot with Windows on it, which should be working (at least it worked a year ago). However, if you have a Windows computer, there really is no excuse for not checking out the trial versions of both of these. The trials are free. And if you wish, you can always buy. (aff. link)

PS: One mystery of life was solved as I read their Teaching baby to read ebook. There is a quote from Janet Doman, daughter of Glenn Doman and director of the Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential, "[At school] we are literally trained to read and talk at the same time. And this is not a good way to teach, because when you and I go to read a book, we subvocalize. We actually are talking, and it means we read very, very slowly. [A baby] will just take in the word, and as you teach him to read and he gets to be a better and better reader, he’s not subvocalizing. " I learned to read very early and was an extremely fast reader, finishing a typical Enid Blyton in an hour and a half flat with distractions and all, could understand "less easy"English like Shakespeare, attempt crosswords and remember pretty much anything I read or was told. The two things I was never able to do were reading aloud and understanding what I was reading at the same time and reading aloud to memorize. The vocalizing probably wrecked my natural learning tempo. This quote explains much!

Tips on teaching a baby to clap

Oooookay, I think we have cracked the clap code (though not actually clapped), which if you consider that Nisarg is not even 3 months yet, is pretty amazing.

The little guy has figured out that its all about swinging his hands together, but doesn't yet have the co-ordination to quite make them meet....

If you want to teach your baby to clap, and he just stares back and blows spit bubbles at you, the following tips might help:

1. Don't hurry. ENJOY the fun you are having with baby, no matter what it ends up as. Babies sense you enjoying yourself, and it tempts them to enter the action you are leading.
2. Pick your time. Don't just pester the poor darling morning and night. The idea is to find a time when baby is alert, awake and quiet.
3. Talk baby talk with your baby. Get his attention. You want him really looking at you, observing.
4. Clap with an exaggerated movement (with an obvious swing of your hands). Laugh and share the joke with baby and do more baby talk.
5. Do this a couple of times, and baby will likely get buzzed enough to wave his hands. Get all excited about that, and clap some more and wait, as though you are fully expecting him to do the same. If baby doesn't respond, fine. Do something else. Repeating clapping a couple of times, or playfully clapping his hands together will work as interactive fun, but don't turn it into a lesson. It will not make him clap, if he stops enjoying it.
   

This is it. The whole session. Praise whatever swings baby makes, and clap in response. Eventually, the little darling is going to figure out how to make the hands meet when he swings them.

Baby weight gain and bonnissan

I had written earlier about how Nisarg was having problems with gas and diarrhoea and the doctor had prescribed Bonnisan. Then I wrote about how after just two days, Nisarg had normal baby poop for the first time in his life.

Well.... half a month later, we haven't had a single loose bowel movement yet, and Nisarg is filling up quite well, with chubbying cheeks and slight hints of plumpness that we associate with babies. I don't think he's ever going to be one of those round babies, but hey, he's healthy, active and putting on weight steadily. He also put on an inch in height - he's now 22 inches.

I don't know what he weighs, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's put on a kilo from the last appointment to the next.

Maybe its just regular growth, but I'm of the opinion that the Bonnissan really helped. He just was cranky (for him) and slow to grow since the gas set in till before we started with it.

Pain and fear

Just had some awful news. A friend of mine had a son recently and he developed some problems after birth and had to be hospitalized, where he died after two days. This must have been the hardest thing I have ever done..... I gave her a call and spoke with her briefly.

What do you say to a new mother who loses her child?

Just the thought of it was enough to shred all coherence from me, and we spent some torturous minutes of uncomprehending grief.

As a new mother myself, I have no fear greater than this, and I can only imagine how a mother who should have been celebrating instead is dealing with engorged breasts and no one to feed. All the hopes, dreams, love..... shattered.

I don't know what to say, I don't even know what to wish for.... Not my child. Mine is waving his hands and cooing as I swipe at tears, in a complete role reversal. For once, he doesn't know why I'm crying and what to do about it. I'm grateful that I'm crying over a loss I will not be living with.

About Growing up with Nisarg

When I had a son on the 2nd Sept, little did I imagine how time would fly. At one point, I was heavily pregnant and swearing that I'd sleep for a week once he was out and the next thing I knew, he was nearing a month old, and sleep was still nowhere in sight.

However, true to my intense curiosity for enhancing anything I'm into, I found myself having a veritable fountain of knowledge, resources and curiosity about the pregnancy and now raising a child.

Considering how time flies, I thought I'd create this blog. This blog serves several purposes:

1. Its a labour of love. I vaguely imagine myself showing this to a grown up Nisarg who is curious about when he was a baby.
   
2. It gives me something to do when I'm wide awake in the middle of the night with an infant who nods off happily on me, but wakes up screaming when I put him down.
3. Its memories of this time, which is so precious, and passing so swiftly
4. It is a space where I can share my discoveries in a manner that will assist those interested rather than talk the ears off people who will find them utterly boring.
5. Its a place I can point my friends who are expecting/have babies. I fantasize that they will find this place wildly helpful, but I guess what I'm really hoping for is conversations with people in the same boat....

So here I am, and here is this blog. Enjoy!

Do keep coming back and reading, appreciating my beautiful son and sharing your insights.

Neopeptine drops for infants with gas

Okay, like I said that the baby's loose bowel motions got sorted by Bonnisan, the other helpful miracle we had with the gas was Neopeptine.

This is apparently something with digestive enzymes, and it really helps cut the amount of gas discomfort the baby goes through. Unfortunately, it took us a while to discover how to use it.

So, if you are using Neopeptine for infant gas, here are some tips, which we wish someone had given us:

• You have likely been advised to give Neopeptine only for extreme colic, like we were. This makes you tend to wait for quite some time before the baby's screaming forces you to use it. Don't wait. Use it at the first sign of gas.
• If your baby is suffering from gas, don't give doses only when he is in pain. Give them for a day or two, as long as you aren't giving him more than three times, though we have given him four or even five doses once on the first day, when he was in a lot of trouble.
• Give the drops before feeding.
• Neopeptine helps baby move the gas easier, but you can help it along. Give drops, burp, feed, burp, wait for some time, burp again.
• Moving the baby's legs will also help him pass gas, which will not hurt your situation.

Have you used Neopeptine? How did you use it? How was your experience?

Right brain development in infants

There is a wealth of information on right brain development in infants and how it can't be started early enough and resources and all that. Like any other obsessed mother out there, I'm researching ways to entertain him in a manner that stimulates his development, and so far am doing pretty much exactly what came instinctively anyway.

Talking a lot to him, teasing him to win those smiles, carrying him around and showing stuff, making funny faces and exaggerated actions, etc.

The funny part is that the actions get him looking all solemn and puzzled at me when I'd have thought he'd laugh. He looks like he wants to ask "Hey, you okay? You seemed fine a minute ago"

What I'm planning to do:

1. Flash cards. He still sleeps most of the time, and seems supremely uninterested in the flashcards most of the time. So I guess this is going to be an acquired taste. At the moment, he'll look at the cards very briefly and mostly look at my face as though trying to figure out what in the world I'm trying to do.
2. Touch: He gets his massage and bath every day, and we often cuddle at bedtime. Other than that, he loves touch in general. Stroke his head, body, face-but-NOT-nose, and he's virtually purring. I give him lots of other stuff to touch too - the plastic of his toys - hard, soft, bags..., rubber mat, soft cotton swaddling cloth, other cloth materials, sponge, wood, .... whatever we can lay our hands on
3. Smell: So far, we like a couple of perfumes and sneeze at frying smells from the kitchen. Vicks , milk and baby powder are at the top.
   
4. Movement: I carry him around in my arms, in a sling.... lift him high, dance with him in my arms, ... He pretty much enjoys it all indiscriminately
5. Mimicry: I do all kinds of stuff for him to copy. So far we have managed to stick our tongues out (both imitating me and when told), clap (sort of) and blink. He will suck instead of kiss, and we understand the sign for milk (I like to imagine), but can't copy. I guess he's too hungry and small to focus while hungry yet. Thing is, he enjoys all this stuff and is mostly waving arms and feet full power with that undecided half-smile on his face.
6. Music: He likes most music (other than a couple of really loud songs, and Anup Jalota) Favourites being nursery rhymes in Marathi, and Usha Uthups Karadi Rhymes followed closely by Shakti and Ghulam Ali.

And here I am, saying that I don't get to do much because he sleeps so much. I guess its more about being aware of how much we are doing.

Nightmare night

Last night Nisarg cried, and cried, and cried. Poor chap. He vomitted a couple of times, had loose stools, gas.... and was utterly miserable.

He wanted to be held all the time and still sobbed on and off.

Nothing worked. feeding, burping, music....

Just as I was about to rush him to the ER of the nearest hospital, he started nodding off, utterly exhausted. Poor little boy. Care....fully, I put him down, and after a few sobs, he was out. Such a tiny body, so tired from the discomfort and crying.

I was a goner too. I was tired myself, but all wired up. Sleep didn't matter if I could just bring him some comfort.... Luckily, at 4am, this nightmare story ended from sheer exhaustion on his part. After staying awake for another half hour or so to just be sure that he was ok, I slept like a log.

He woke up in the morning with a ear destroying scream, and I was like, "Not again....". I began telling Raka how we were taking him to the hospital immediately after feeding, and he started getting ready.

Just to be contrary I think, Nisarg drank and drank and drank like he was starving, belched like a drunk sailor, and was peacefully sleeping before his burping was done. He didn't even stir as I put him down.

Raka and I looked at each other in disbelief. Apparently, the guy was just hungry after his difficult night.

I've been looking at him warily all day, but so far, so good.