We had our third doctor's appointment today. Ever since I started surfing the net and discovered that my baby was "near-term" and "underweight" I've been obsessing about getting him on the charts. So much for accepting the baby how it is.
On some level, I think its good for Nisarg that I'm obsessing over his weight, because it makes me extra attentive to his needs. So maybe the mothering instinct is not completely absent when faced with charts....
Anyway, this time, his weight was 4.35kg, which is a gain of 831 grams since the last visit a month ago. Good. He is still off the charts low though. I was thrilled to know that regular charts don't represent normal breastfed babies and are too high, but unfortunately, he is still low on the WHO charts for breastfed babies. His height is in the third percentile though.
Anyway, the other thing I was obsessing about was vaccinations. We could get them done for free in the government facilities (which I've heard are very good), but the darling would get 4 injections instead of the combined vaccine and Hepatitis-B which is only two with the pediatritian. Plus, they are supposed to be painful and cause swelling and fever. I'm terrified of injections myself, and no way would I let my love suffer from a single prick that could be avoided. Plus, the government vaccines won't do HiB, which protects from pneumonia, influenza and whatnots. Thus, I talked myself out of the cheapest option.
Then the doctor had two options a cheaper one (not really) that was still painful, and a more expensive one which would be "hardly noticed". Not an easy choice considering how the better one cost twice the other. At Rs.1300/- and 2500/- neither were exactly cheap. Hmm... so I see this baby thing is not going to be a moneysaver.
Anyway, we went, celebrated our weight gain, and got our vaccines with no pain other than that to my wallet.
Considering how Nisarg has been suffering from a loose bowel since birth, I was determined to not leave without some answers. The reading on lactose intolerance had helped, but he was still gassy and still passed motions continuously through the day, though not in as much pain as before.
This time, I talked about the neo-peptin and the gripe water. When I brought up the gripe water, the doctor said to not give it (again) and with a sigh scribbled out a prescription for something called Bonnisan.
Thus armed, we have come home. Hopefully, the direction to travel is greater comfort, joy, love and all that.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Supporting an infant's neck
You look at that fragile little thing and your heart flutters with fear for its safety. You are so scared of jerking that flimsy neck supporting that big head, that you take a full minute before the baby transfers from the bed to your arms.
Well.... Life has a way of enforcing efficiency, as has confidence and observation. Trust me, I learned, and then had conversations with the doctor, other experienced people....
The first sign you get that you may be being too careful with the infant's nect is when you want to snatch your baby back from the doctor when s/he handles him. Fact is, most infants are able to take movement of the neck comfortably. What you want is to avoid jerks, head dropping from gravity, and such horrible things.
Most of the time, if you are picking up your baby with a hand under its head, you are already doing things right. If you are supporting it in the crook of your arm, that works too, as do many other ways.
Most people will advise you to be super careful, under the belief that better safe than sorry. However, it doesn't help if you fear damaging your child for life each time you pick him or her up. Babies will move their heads at will and often correct uncomfortable head positions themselves. Sometimes they will nod their heads to angles beyond what they are able to control, and the head will suddenly flop.
My technique is to keep my arm/hand or other body part or soft surface loosely and attentively ready to "catch" the head if it tries to go more than the baby's usual range of movement. However, I don't see the sense in immobilizing my son so much that he strengthens his neck through fighting restraints rather than attempting normal movement. This has gotten me grief from my mother-in-law who always holds him like he's strapped to a splint. However, it hasn't even earned me a whimper of discomfort from my son.
I don't think nature ever intended us to keep our offspring unnaturally rigid till some predecided date when they miraculously started not needing support. Nisarg learns to hold his neck every day and keeps getting better at it. He can now raise his head easily when sleeping on his tummy, turns to look in every direction, and will often rub his forehead on my chest or bang his head on my breast himself. He doesn't seem to have suffered from the wear and tear.
If you are still trying to figure out how and how much to support your infant's neck:
Well.... Life has a way of enforcing efficiency, as has confidence and observation. Trust me, I learned, and then had conversations with the doctor, other experienced people....
The first sign you get that you may be being too careful with the infant's nect is when you want to snatch your baby back from the doctor when s/he handles him. Fact is, most infants are able to take movement of the neck comfortably. What you want is to avoid jerks, head dropping from gravity, and such horrible things.
Most of the time, if you are picking up your baby with a hand under its head, you are already doing things right. If you are supporting it in the crook of your arm, that works too, as do many other ways.
Most people will advise you to be super careful, under the belief that better safe than sorry. However, it doesn't help if you fear damaging your child for life each time you pick him or her up. Babies will move their heads at will and often correct uncomfortable head positions themselves. Sometimes they will nod their heads to angles beyond what they are able to control, and the head will suddenly flop.
My technique is to keep my arm/hand or other body part or soft surface loosely and attentively ready to "catch" the head if it tries to go more than the baby's usual range of movement. However, I don't see the sense in immobilizing my son so much that he strengthens his neck through fighting restraints rather than attempting normal movement. This has gotten me grief from my mother-in-law who always holds him like he's strapped to a splint. However, it hasn't even earned me a whimper of discomfort from my son.
I don't think nature ever intended us to keep our offspring unnaturally rigid till some predecided date when they miraculously started not needing support. Nisarg learns to hold his neck every day and keeps getting better at it. He can now raise his head easily when sleeping on his tummy, turns to look in every direction, and will often rub his forehead on my chest or bang his head on my breast himself. He doesn't seem to have suffered from the wear and tear.
If you are still trying to figure out how and how much to support your infant's neck:
- provide support under neck and head for all horizontal positions, but it is not necessary to restrict any voluntary movement.
- Provide support underneath for diagonal positions and be attentive for baby's movements moving head to positions he can't control or recover from and and situations where gravity could tax the neck muscles and cause the head to drop. This includes pulling into sitting positions for example
- When holding baby upright, there is no real need to keep holding head, though positioning him so that he can rest on your chest or shoulder and keeping one hand on is a good idea. Don't "hold", just keep it there for comfort and readiness.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sensitive parenting
Didn't want to end the day on a sour note, so I just thought to share an awesome site and a must read for all parents. Aware parenting.
The first time I found this site, it was like coming home. Distressed by my mother-in-law's insistence to not pick up the baby all the time it cries, and to let it cry because "its good for the lungs", I was speaking with a friend about how disturbed I was with such an attitude, when she told me about how she disciplines her children by taking away some previlege when they are naughty. This made sense on the surface, but "felt wrong".
Considering that I was pregnant around when this happened, call it hormones, or inexperience, but I was getting increasingly insecure about my ability to raise my upcoming child, as everyone around me assured me that such permissiveness and listening to the child would only end in unruly children. I had no intention of doing any punishing what-so-ever. I had begun fearing that I may have bitten off more than I could chew by planning a child when I was obviously going to wreck its life as I would be unable to give it the kind of guidance it needed. My plan was more about role-modelling than disciplining. The back up plan was "keep living the love I feel, no matter what". What seemed like a good plan when I thought about it was falling to pieces with every bit of advice I got on the subject.
When I read this site, I literally felt like I finally came home, if home is where the heart lies. I didn't disagree with a word in there. It was like the writer simply took my wishes, organized them and wrote them out.
If you have a child, are a caregiver for a child, have a child as a close relative, or have ever interacted with a child, this site, and her books are for you. Its rare to find the insight of emotions we are used to applying to adults applied directly to children. And no, I don't even know the author. This is complete promotion because of conviction.
For that matter, forget children, and simply live these values with anyone you know, and you will transform your life.
The first time I found this site, it was like coming home. Distressed by my mother-in-law's insistence to not pick up the baby all the time it cries, and to let it cry because "its good for the lungs", I was speaking with a friend about how disturbed I was with such an attitude, when she told me about how she disciplines her children by taking away some previlege when they are naughty. This made sense on the surface, but "felt wrong".
Considering that I was pregnant around when this happened, call it hormones, or inexperience, but I was getting increasingly insecure about my ability to raise my upcoming child, as everyone around me assured me that such permissiveness and listening to the child would only end in unruly children. I had no intention of doing any punishing what-so-ever. I had begun fearing that I may have bitten off more than I could chew by planning a child when I was obviously going to wreck its life as I would be unable to give it the kind of guidance it needed. My plan was more about role-modelling than disciplining. The back up plan was "keep living the love I feel, no matter what". What seemed like a good plan when I thought about it was falling to pieces with every bit of advice I got on the subject.
When I read this site, I literally felt like I finally came home, if home is where the heart lies. I didn't disagree with a word in there. It was like the writer simply took my wishes, organized them and wrote them out.
If you have a child, are a caregiver for a child, have a child as a close relative, or have ever interacted with a child, this site, and her books are for you. Its rare to find the insight of emotions we are used to applying to adults applied directly to children. And no, I don't even know the author. This is complete promotion because of conviction.
For that matter, forget children, and simply live these values with anyone you know, and you will transform your life.
Travel tips to India
While searching for diaper rash because I wanted to know what its like, I came across a page with the stupidest information for visitors traveling to India with infants. Not only is it factually incorrect, it stinks of pseudo superiority.
I have a lot of friends who are foreigners (as in non-Indians). Many of them have kids. Some bring their kids here, a few have given birth in India. The top three things I hear from parents of infants about their India experience are:
While I hate to stereotype, this is such a glaring pattern, that I'd be lying if I'd de-nationalized it.
The British have left India, but the hangover of inferiority remains. For many people in India, reaching a place where they are better than other Indians imprisons them from appreciating what is, in their hunt for what's wrong. They can relocate, but the mind remains in their prison of insecurities. There are two ways to be higher my friend. One is to life life to our best. The other is to push everything near us down. Guess which is easier, and which is more satisfying.
On the other hand, non-Indians enter India with a desire for discovery, prepared fully to enjoy their visit, and they find an enriching experience and adventure in the same land with the same number of shops and availability of products.
We can choose to win or whine. Remember, we will soon have echoes of our words coming out of our children's mouths. What is the world we want them to discover? What is the attitude we want to encourage?
I have a lot of friends who are foreigners (as in non-Indians). Many of them have kids. Some bring their kids here, a few have given birth in India. The top three things I hear from parents of infants about their India experience are:
- The tradition of post-partum massage in India totally rocks. Its the ultimate in pampering, and the stomach binding methods really help new moms get back into shape.
- India is a place to be experienced anew through the wonder of a young child.
- If you want to potty train your kid, bring him to India, and let a few of the grannies at him/her. Quick, painless and blessed freedom from marathon diapering.
- Number one problem in India is mosquitoes! Wow!!! And what problems Harish faces with them. Mosquito nets are too hot, coils are a bad idea (I agree). odomos is unsafe for children, and to bring electronic repellents before entering India. This guy has seriously lost touch with what India has become. Whatever happened to the liquid repellents like All out? Odomos works fine on kids as young as you like as long as you don't apply it on areas babies suck - hands. I don't even know that it does harm if applied to hands.
- Water is a big problem. Sure - in some places, but bringing a kettle from US of A to boil it? The smallest roadside dhaba will give you all the boiled water in a clean utensil you want for free. Never mind the relatives you have come to meet.
- Infant formula can be found in one store in Mumbai? Is this guy nuts or totally clueless about shopping for babies? Its more like one store every 5 minutes in any direction.
- Not to bring babies under 2 years, one year etc. And here I was, an idiot for thinking that breastfed babies would have better immunity as well as make water problems irrelevant. Though if the guy has "psuedo-civilized" enough, he probably thinks breastfeeding is something the primitive Indians do and real babies thrive on formula.
While I hate to stereotype, this is such a glaring pattern, that I'd be lying if I'd de-nationalized it.
The British have left India, but the hangover of inferiority remains. For many people in India, reaching a place where they are better than other Indians imprisons them from appreciating what is, in their hunt for what's wrong. They can relocate, but the mind remains in their prison of insecurities. There are two ways to be higher my friend. One is to life life to our best. The other is to push everything near us down. Guess which is easier, and which is more satisfying.
On the other hand, non-Indians enter India with a desire for discovery, prepared fully to enjoy their visit, and they find an enriching experience and adventure in the same land with the same number of shops and availability of products.
We can choose to win or whine. Remember, we will soon have echoes of our words coming out of our children's mouths. What is the world we want them to discover? What is the attitude we want to encourage?
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Baby's first real smile
Okay guys, Today, I'm on top of the world.
I woke up to see Nisarg already awake and quiet next to me and wanted to spend some quiet time with him. I picked up a rattle and showed it to him, cooing "Good morning!" and some random nonsense. Nisarg stared quietly and very seriously at the rattle, as he licked his left little finger and suddenly bestowed a thousand watt beaming smile complete with toothless gums all the way!. Then he looked at me, gave another brilliant smile and looked back at the rattle.
He's been smiling on and off when he's drowsy, but this is the first "intelligent" smile. He went all out with it. What a way to begin smiling, and what a glorious way to begin my day!!!
I wish I had a camera handy to capture this incredible bit of sunshine for today.
BTW, if you are trying to make your little one smile, here is what I did if it helps. Not that it helped when I tried it a couple of hours later...
If you are an experienced parent, do share your ideas for coaxing more smiles....
I woke up to see Nisarg already awake and quiet next to me and wanted to spend some quiet time with him. I picked up a rattle and showed it to him, cooing "Good morning!" and some random nonsense. Nisarg stared quietly and very seriously at the rattle, as he licked his left little finger and suddenly bestowed a thousand watt beaming smile complete with toothless gums all the way!. Then he looked at me, gave another brilliant smile and looked back at the rattle.
He's been smiling on and off when he's drowsy, but this is the first "intelligent" smile. He went all out with it. What a way to begin smiling, and what a glorious way to begin my day!!!
I wish I had a camera handy to capture this incredible bit of sunshine for today.
BTW, if you are trying to make your little one smile, here is what I did if it helps. Not that it helped when I tried it a couple of hours later...
- I came into the picture, when he was receptive
- I was quiet and didn't overwhelm him
- I showed him something (interesting is a matter of perspective in this case, I think)
- I paid attention and was appropriately delighted with his first smile.
- He's five weeks, so its about the right time for him to begin smiling.
- He was in a quiet mood, when he didn't have to worry about hunger or poo or pee or discomfort
- His favourite person (at least the one he is most used to) was paying him undivided attention and showing something that was interesting without making too loud a noise that worries him (shaking a rattle makes him look, but not much else)
If you are an experienced parent, do share your ideas for coaxing more smiles....
Friday, October 2, 2009
Tips for infant gas pain
We had gas pain again last night.
This time around, I was able to comfort him in an hour.... which is too long for my baby to be in pain...
What worked was:
This time around, I was able to comfort him in an hour.... which is too long for my baby to be in pain...
What worked was:
- Playing his favourite music
- Cuddling to comfort him
- Breastfeeding to comfort him
- Patting and stroking his back while cuddling to help him burp
- Raising his legs like for a diaper change to help him fart
- Doing leg exercises like cycling, pressing knees to stomach, etc
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Gas trouble for my baby
We had our first horrible night.
Nisarg just cried and cried and cried for 3 hours. We felt so helpless.
He woke up screaming bloody murder. Poor baby had gas. Every little while, a pain built and he screamed and squirmed and kicked out with his tiny feet in agony, and all we could do was look on helplessly as all our comfort methods failed. If there was ever a moment parents could be fired for failing their babies, it was this one....
I tried everything I could. Rocking, singing, talking, cuddling, massaging, feeding at the breast, bottle, moving his feet to help expel the gas. Everything worked for a minute or so, and the poor tyke was back to yelling. I have never felt so helpless or under prepared. The doctor had given us some drops and they helped, but it was about an hour after he had started crying that we thought to give them....
He had cried so hard that he was still having tiny sobs after he finally drank milk and slept. The morning brought some relief, but it was back to the same screaming inconsolably a while later.
Am at my wits end. Called the doctor, and she simply said that these things happen and to comfort him how we could.
Mother in law says to give him gripe water everyday, but the doctor shot down the idea earlier. She repeated it again, and again, and again, till we got some and gave it to him. Not much of a difference though he does like the taste.
On an internet expedition to find out what I can do to help him.
Nisarg just cried and cried and cried for 3 hours. We felt so helpless.
I tried everything I could. Rocking, singing, talking, cuddling, massaging, feeding at the breast, bottle, moving his feet to help expel the gas. Everything worked for a minute or so, and the poor tyke was back to yelling. I have never felt so helpless or under prepared. The doctor had given us some drops and they helped, but it was about an hour after he had started crying that we thought to give them....
He had cried so hard that he was still having tiny sobs after he finally drank milk and slept. The morning brought some relief, but it was back to the same screaming inconsolably a while later.
Am at my wits end. Called the doctor, and she simply said that these things happen and to comfort him how we could.
Mother in law says to give him gripe water everyday, but the doctor shot down the idea earlier. She repeated it again, and again, and again, till we got some and gave it to him. Not much of a difference though he does like the taste.
On an internet expedition to find out what I can do to help him.
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