My visit to the doctors had been hopelessly uninformative, and I was feeling lost and helpless to know if my baby was okay.
It was silly, I knew, what would be would be, but today, for Valentine's Day, I treated myself to an ultrasound for reassurance purposes. The ultrasound technician was also not a very involved guy, or particularly interested in seeing much detail (or perhaps, how much detail can you see in a grain of rice through loads of flesh?) and I was vaguely irritated with him for not making much of an effort about the whole thing. He came to know that we hadn't seen the heartbeat in the previous ultrasound, and that was pretty much the only thing he looked for (165.71 bmp) other than the CRL (13.3mm) and cervix (3.5cm). Whatever, I knowing my baby's heart was beating and size was okay was what I needed.
Maybe it was a waste of money, but here is an email I sent to a close friend after the ultrasound.
Hi,
True to my paranoia, I was very worried about my baby today. I do it every 3 days or so, but this time, I had the possibility of doing an 8week ultrasound for the heart beat to reassure myself. I guess the last experience left more of a mark on me than I guessed. So I decided to treat myself to a Valentine's day gift - an ultrasound, though I had planned to stay away from the things unless necessary - heard that its not such a wonderful thing after all, though not evil.
What a beautiful experience. S/he was moving. I couldn't really understand it, it was all a blob in a circle, but the technician remarked that it was "active" - whatever that means, making getting a clearer image difficult. What do you expect from a kid of ours? Call it heriditary. He tuned in to the heartbeats, and I thought it was some machine error. Sounded more like the fast panting of a dog trying to go "sh...sh" - very fast 158BPM to 164BPM. I asked him if it was the heart beat when the monitor started showing rhythmic bumps and he seemed to be measuring them and it was. Blame the hormones, but I had tears in my eyes. I had feared the absence of that heart beat like the last time.
Also, unlike the last time, the dates I claim and the dates the ultrasound assesses match. This guy/gal is right how its supposed to be.
Spent an hour after returning staring at the prints, grinning. Now I know its definitely hormones - I have never needed more than a brief scan through to understand any data, and here I was staring at pictures of a blob and repetitive sound waves and reading the same "report" again and again, which basically says no more than all is as it should be. All my intelligence must be going to the kid, if I'm becoming so dumb.
Waiting for Raka to come home. I'm sure he needs to know this too. Happy Valentine's day to both the three of us!!!
And huge noisy kisses, major hugs and buckets of love and all that to you too!
Love,
Vidyut
See, what a difference one test can make?
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment