Full onslaught of hormones

A friend offered a shoulder to cry on whenever I needed it, and look how thoroughly I used it today.

Heh, remember, you've asked for it :D

Ok here goes - bitching-and-whining list first:

1. Nausea is the greatest evil of mankind. The pregnancy glow is a hoax to sucker women into propagating the race
2. Life is reduced to bodily functions - sleep, piss, eat, cry, puke, piss, want to puke, cry, sleep, piss, sleep, puke, etc Did I mention sleep?
3. Having more than one child is a symptom of a liking for torture. Possible indication of insanity. Shrink before doc.
4. Everybody and his cousin knows what's good for you till you want to scream or kill someone
5. Desirable pregnant women are a myth or a symptom of delusions in my husband. If it pukes, bloats, farts and yawns every time approached, porn star boobs don't matter - it isn't a sexual creature
6. Some women apparently breeze through their pregnancies glowing and all that - don't trust them. It can't be natural.
   
7. People just don't understand that I am pregnant, not terminally ill, nor mentally deficient.'
8. Unmarried male friends get speechless with the news. Since women all over the world have been getting pregnant all the time, I'm not looking too closely at the surprise about ME being pregnant. It doesn't seem likely to translate into a compliment no matter how it unrolls.
9. I can feel something almost like sore muscles when I bend, stretch or sit hunched for a long time. Doesn't feel like a charming baby. Feels like something is inside that wasn't
10. people only understand cliched basketball stomachs as pregnant. The bigger the more believable. No one knows how much blood sweat and tears gets us there or cares how that impressive basket ball becomes a person - this definitely seems to be a case of size matters - bigger or smaller depending on whether you are watching or growing.
    

Blessings:

• I seem to be forgetting stuff these days, so hopefully, this experience is not going to return as nightmares, since I will forget it.
• Porn star boobs. Gone up a size already. Stomach is jealous and competing, so it isn't as awesome as it could have been. Still, I intend to enjoy it before the stomach wins.
  
• Husband and assorted friends will take a lot more crap from me than earlier.
• I get a kid at the end of all this.  - Don't know if I will call it a blessing in the future, so might as well take this chance

Milestones:

• Puked last week. After thinking of it for weeks, It happened. It seems to be like losing virginity - now that I've done it, it happens more easily and often
• Saw the heartbeat on ultrasound. Pure magic, though it did sound like a dog panting "sh...sh" very fast rather than any heartbeat I've ever heart. However, it sounded, it was there. Things are okay. All tests and measurements are as should be :)
• Doc put me on progesterone to prevent miscarriage (no issue now, but earlier miscarriage, so playing safe) progesterone is exactly how it sounds - a hormone. Guess what hormones do to pregnant women? Nausea, fatigue, crying, etc. Yippie! This is definitely not helping stabilize my usually whimsical and recently mercurial nature. If I wasn't convinced that the doctor cared deeply about this so far conceptual and statistical baby, I'd have happily put her first on my slaughter list.
  
• Officially declared my mind on vacation - I just don't recognize myself anymore. Never used to sleep in the afternoons, never was fussy about food, never was the tantrum variety. This alien in my body is, which is how I found out its not me
• No. I don't feel pregnant or maternal or any such thing. What I am feeling is mostly pissed which isn't even particularly feminine. The baby is still mostly hypothetical as far as my experience goes. The tests say it exists. My experience says nausea and the rest of the nasties exist, but there isn't anything remotely babylike that I can feel so far, unless you want to stretch imagination desperately and include the tightness in my stomach.
  
• Saw the mess in my cupboards. Considering how I wear long tops these days because my jeans are unbuttoned underneath, thought I'd pack away everything that doesn't fit. This meant that I packed away three formal trousers and some other clothes I'd never worn even once - its anyone's guess If I'll get into 26 inch waists ever again. Quite traumatic. NONE of my favourites fit. Naturally, I cried myself to exhaustion, leaving the puzzled husband with a cranky and sleepy wife, and a pile of clothes on the floor he dared not make a decision about for fear of upsetting me further.
• Other such incidents including sulking at the brother-in-law and then crying about his insensitivity because he joked that I gave him the cup with less tea in it and kept more for myself. He has since then avoiced me like the plague and speaks only when necessary, and VERY carefully. Don't know if he is being considerate or if I've finally managed to put him off women for good. For that matter don't know if that considerate is to protect his fragile feelings or mine.
  
• Felt left out because I hadn't spoken with people at work for over 4 days - didn't they think I was capable of working anymore?
  

If I am not careful, this alien that has shanghaied my body is going to ruin my well developed image of being a somewhat rational person sometimes.

This summarizes my existence. Believe me, if this is entertaining, it is a tribute to my phenomenal talent with language, and not the experience itself.

Phew, feels much lighter having shared all this. Wicked of me, but my choice of sharing this with you is because of your inexperience with pregnancy. At least you can't tell me that this is how it is for everyone and make soothing noises about how all women go through it, etc. I expect you to be fully indignant and appropriately sympathetic as required, because you don't know what's usual and can still get in touch with the shock of how something like this can impact the unsuspecting and unwary innocents like ourselves.

Vidyut

Felt much better after having written this. :D